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A painful dilemma: when you want to pursue motherhood, but your partner isn't on board

This is something many women I speak with in my work as a Motherhood Clarity Coach know.

You love your partner. Ideally you want to do this with him or her. Its normal and natural to want this.

You may wait and hope that your partner will come around. You may hope your longing to have a baby will just disappear. Or you may believe that it will just happen!

Maybe one of the above scenarios will happen. But its unlikely.

What is most common is to spend years discussing, hoping, persuading, procrastinating, analysing, stressing, waiting. You may tell yourself your selfish, and even feel guilty. Oh yes, you probably feel crazy too!

This can be an extremely painful and lonely place to be.

What I will share with you from my own experience of having been in this place for many years, is the following:

♡ Your needs and desires are yours only - your partner cannot feel what you are feeling.

♡ The desire to be a mother is the most natural thing in the world. It is not selfish or crazy to want this.

♡ You may be enough for your partner, but they may not be enough for you. Your partner may meet many of your deepest needs, but, they can NEVER, ever fulfill your desire to be a mother.

♡ Taking the difficult decision to walk away from a relationship because you don't want the same things in life, is a decision that comes from self-love, and great courage.

♡ It does not mean that you do not love your partner if you leave the relationship to pursue your desire to be a mother, it means that you love yourself enough to follow your deepest desire.

If you need any help in getting clarity on your own situation, I would love to help you. Do not feel alone.


Kerry White is a Motherhood Clarity Coach, helping women get clarity around their desire to pursue an alternative path to motherhood.

She is also a Workplace Wellbeing Facilitator, Speaker, Shiatsu Therapist and Yoga Teacher. Kerry is especially passionate about supporting women feel well on every level - physically, mentally, socially and spiritually.

Read more about Kerry here.

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